To Anyone Reading My Blog–Who decides to take content out of context and Lie About Me

Hello,

I need to point a few things out about my websites. Anyone who has followed my sites, has seen that I simply have not been doing anything with them. I haven’t had the mental capacity to mess with them much. Thankfully, wordpress is very easy to use, or I wouldn’t be blogging right now.

My about me page, which has disappeared, I am not sure why, was written many years ago. It was written before I had my son. I haven’t updated it. Yes I have kept my sites online, in other words they exists on the internet. However, I have not been updating the information very often.

 

Years ago, I thought to make a site called askjina.com to help people understand their insurance benefits. It was partially built and published. However, I abandoned it. I had to. I no longer was going to be able to do anything with it. I had to focus on myself and my son, due to health problems for me, and my son being diagnosed as having autism.

In the original about me page, it stated that I had two dogs. As a matter of fact, both of those dogs have since passed, that is how old that about me page is. And it is the same on any other site I’ve created.

 

I am so tired of having to explain myself, and fight against the system, or against people who have done bad things. It is hard to keep going, but I have a beautiful son who I love dearly and who needs me.

 

I have a chronic pain condition called pudenal nueralgia. It is the result of poor care while I gave birth to my son and immediatly afterwards. This condition, has changed my life. I used todo many things, and be active. I used to drive into town with no problems. I used be a normal active driven person. All of that changed. Everyone who really knows me can attest to the changes they have seen in me and that I am a different person.

 

If you have never heard of my condition, which wouldn’t surprise me at all, I have pain in my pelvic floor and lower back. That means pain in the vaginal and anal area. I am on medicaitons, go to physical therapy, see a specialist, have had many procedures done, gone to therapy, done biofeedback, tried accupuncture, and just about any other possible thing that could help me. But the pain is still there. It is constant. Some days are worse than others. I use a tens unit to help with pain control. I use hot/cold. I use pillows to keep pressure off my pelvic floor and to keep my back in a comfortable position. If I sit, it is with a pillow, unless I am on a very soft surface and then I sit sort of on my side/hip so that pressure is off my pelvic floor. I have to alter positions. Sitting, movements, excercise, and many things that mean moving your body, causes me pain. Some of the pain I have learned to simply ignore. Complaining about it doesn’t make it better, so I distract myself.

The medications that I am on have their own side effect issue. And yes, I deal with depression and anxiety as well that has been created in part by being in constant pain, as well as just the circumstances that have delivered me to this point in my life.

I am on disability. It is a benefit that I paid into while I was working. I have applied for SSDI., but have not received it yet. Apparently the many medical records for them are not enough. It’s very frustrating, that people who have no medical degree, get to decide whether I am disabled enough to meet their “standards.”  I understand that they have their own training, but I believe that medical condition are very individual, so many things have to be taken into account, and that includes medical history, as well as medical records, as well as what the individual says about their own condition. I understand, that there are those out there, that would milk the system so to speak, or lie.

 

Buth here’s the thing. The doctors writing the medical records, are not lying. The witnesses, who have seen the person hurting are not lying. There are so many people involved in a person’s life ,like mine, it would be impossible for ALL of them to be lying. I feel ike if someone is questing my integrity regarding my pain, then they are also questioning every Medical provider I have every seen. Medical providers, and I have had many over the years, are not going to lie to get someone on disability and risk their whole life and medical license, and reputation. I just can’t see them doing that.

Particularly for me, my providers are spread out, don’t work in the same offices, and don’t practice together.

It’s hard to keep fighting for justice, because people can’t see my pain. So they question me. What do I have to gain by lying? NOTHING.

I am probably one of the most honest people you would ever meet. I don’t see the point in lying and god knows I wouldn’t be able to remember lies if I told them. I figure the truth will always out. So why bother putting yourself in that position.

My husband has tried to talk to me and I told him I couldn’t talk to him because I couldn only focus on one thing at a time. If you knew me or ever worked with me, you would be shocked to hear that. I use to be able to multi-task like you wouldn’t believe. I can’t do it now. It has to do with the medications that I am on.

Anyway, I guess I’m done ranting for now. I am going to try and blog on this site more, since I can be on my computer, while lying in bed because I have an over the bed table like they have in hospitals.

So, to anyone reading this. Websites are not updated. My pain is real. While I am tired of fighting for myself, I will continue to do so. Which is why I am posting this and looking for original file creation dates.

 

Steps In a New Direction

So, this blog is going to be changing its focus, so to speak. I am sure that I will probably still talk about writing techniques, but it will no longer be the primary focus of my blog. You, my reader(s) probably don’t know me too well. That is about to change. My posts are going to focus much more on the events of my life, past, present, and pondering of possible future outcomes. There are three things that my life revolves around: my son, my family, and my health. I realize my health being in there may seem odd, but I have a chronic pain condition and it’s something I want to talk about, because not many people know what it is. My son recently turned five years old and he has autism. My family is just as crazy and dysfunctional as the next and I love them all dearly because of it. So, that’s it for now. I just wanted to give you a heads up and let you know I am still here.

2013 has brought me justice

So, I am finally back in some small semblance of the word. For those of you who have not followed my blog in any capacity let me provide you with a short and very abbreviated recap:

I gave birth to my wonderful son in 2010. His birth resulted in permanent nerve damage to me. The pain from the nerve damage got worse and worse and worse. I finally had to stop working and eventually lost my job in July of 2012 because of my medical condition (pudendal  neuralgia.)

Approximately six months after my son was born and I was diagnosed with this permanent nerve condition, I decided to sue the birth center.  Well, the trial started on 4/8/13.  It lasted approximately two weeks.  We won. They were found guilty of medical negligence and were found to be responsible for the harm that they caused me.

So, I have had justice. Monetarily this was not some huge win.  However, the guilty verdict was priceless, at least it was and is priceless for me.  So where does that leave me?  Well I am on many medications and still in pain.  I am unable to work, still.  So I am left with trying to move forward to some semblance of life.

Which brings me back to here, my blog, my website.  Maybe now that I have found an internal peace from obtaining justice, I will try to start blogging again.  I make no current guarantees to the frequency, but I shall try.

So here is some advice, never give up.  Believe me, I know that life can look bleak, but giving up gets you nothing and takes you nowhere. Fight. Even if it is for something small.  Even if it is simply to see your child smile, fight whatever is bringing you down. If you are a writer, use the emotion and write. If you are an artist of any kind, create.  Let loose and charge into battle. You may surprise yourself; you just may win.

I’m Still Here

So, I know it seems like I’ve dropped off the face of the earth, but I haven’t.  Unfortunately, my health has deteriorated and I am no longer able to work.  For that matter, my employer terminated me because I had no “specific return to work date.”  Yes, I’m a little bitter about that, but oh well.  Life goes on.  We also had a death in our family recently.  We lost my grandfather who was a great man and is dearly missed.  My life has been busy and full, just not in the best way.  However, I will be trying to do more posts.  I will be doing more book reviews as well.  If you have a suggestion for me to read, then drop me an email.

 

As Always, Keep Reading

 

 

Book Reviews Do Still Exist

According to the New York Observer Tom Lutz, launched a book review site lareviewofbooks.org.  While I applaud any endeavor to provide honest reviews, I felt that the tone of the article made it seem like a one of a kind endeavor.  In my opinion there are other sites that offer book reviews and remain committed to the industry.  Portlandbookreview.com is one such site, which I will admit, I do reviews for them.  Another such site is the Sanfranciscobookreview.com (I do not review for them.)  So, while Lutz is offereing another option, which is always a great thing for writers, he is not the only one.  Print media may be cutting reviews, but they are alive and well on the web.

The full article can be found here:

http://www.observer.com/2011/08/the-old-book-reviews-and-the-new-book-reviews/?utm_source=Publishers+Weekly%27s+PW+Daily&utm_campaign=8baf90a014-UA-15906914-1&utm_medium=email

Speaking Engagements and Updates

I will be teaching a class at the McMinnville Oregon Senior Center on Friday July 29th beginning at 11am.  I will be covering a variety of information regarding getting the most of your health insurance. Since this will be at the Senior Center, Medicare plans will be the primary focus, however some of the information will apply to all health insurance plans, including non medicare plans.

My website is going to be undergoing a redesign.  So, things may go offline for a day in the following two weeks, but hopefully the updates will be seamless and you won’t notice a difference.

My Latest E-reader

Yes, it was only a matter of time before I weighed in on this subject.  For my birthday, which is in February, I purchased a Micro Velocity Cruz Reader.  I did mass amounts of research before my purchase, but ultimately became enamored with the bright color screen and android operating system.  Unfortunately, it stopped working last week.  Granted, my jail breaking it probably contributed to that, but alas my e-reader died a sad death.  So, back to the research.  While I liked my cruz reader, there were some things I did not like, for example the glare.  I couldn’t read outside because of the immense glare.  So, this time around I fell prey to popular opinion and got a Kindle for mother’s day.  Why, you  may ask did I choose this?  Well, I have a lot of kindle e-books that I’ve purchased and according to a PW daily email a few weeks ago, the Kindle will start supporting library books by the end of this year.  In the meantime I can read my library e-books on my Droid X phone.  I still stand that the print book won’t be replaced by the e-book.  After all, I would not dream of having an e-reader accompany me for a soak in the tub.  No, a physical paper book provides much less likelihood of electrocution for that circumstance.

Reviving Old Favorites: Lois Duncan

We all have our favorite authors as kids and as adults.  I recently read Lois Duncan’s The Third Eye, which reminded me how much I like her writing.  One of my favorite’s of hers is Locked in Time.  That book had me riveted and it’s a great read.  My point, is don’t forget about your favorites, even if they are from when you were younger.  Good writing is good writing, at any age.

To find out more about Lois Duncan, check out her website: http://loisduncan.arquettes.com/

Book Review: Pen on Fire

Pen on Fire by Barbara DeMarco-Barrett was a great book.  Now, this is not for everyone.  However, I had a baby, I’m working full time, and my life is generally crazy. So this book spoke volumes to me about finding time to write, committing to my writing, and not giving up.  It was encouraging and helpful.  It was especially helpful because the writer addresses if you are working full time and  have kids. If you need a lift or need advice on how to find time to write then this is a good book for you.


For more information about the author, check out her blog.

http://penonfire.blogspot.com/

1 2 3 13